


Ode to Joy

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-07-10
Packaged: 2018-02-08 05:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1928100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an argument with Stiles, Derek found himself with a problem. Stiles' brand of revenge was always twisted but this one might just take the cake. </p><p>(The one where "ode to joy" starts playing whenever Derek gets hard because Stiles is a horrible person.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ode to Joy

Derek didn't know what it was that finally made Stiles snap. They were arguing as usual. Derek hadn’t been impressed with the pranks war that Stiles and Erica had. Mostly because it went past acceptable and into “DAMN IT, STILES” when pink hair dye and friendly fire had been involved.

If he had to venture a guess, the breaking point was probably the comment about Stiles' jeep or possibly about his bedroom prowess, which, even Derek had to admit, was not a good idea.

At any case, Derek had a pissed off druid-in-the-making thirsty for his blood.

Stiles had always vicious when angry, virtually powerless but wielding words like razorblades. However, ever since his powers manifested and they settled around him like a well-worn coat, he was even worse. And this was during combat and outside of it.

He didn't abuse his powers often, though they had all caught him using a spell or two at some point. He usually used it to lift heavy objects or to bring his glass closer whenever he felt too lazy. Nothing that warranted Deaton or his “witchy tutor” coming down on him with “the wrath of the gods” or so Stiles said. What he was certain of was that whatever it was that he said or did, it wasn’t bad enough that he deserved….this.

**

He heard the song in the morning, while his sleep-addled brain was still trying to piece things together. But apparently his synapses weren't fully firing because he still couldn't figure out how Stiles had managed to sneak in some speakers into his room.

Later, it was while he was at the grocery store and a particularly pretty girl glanced at him and smiled shyly. He thought it was the store’s speakers and wondered why they decided to play that particular song.

The fact that the song was growing louder made him quickly run towards the cashier to pay and then flee to his car.

The third time…well. They were all watching a movie that one of the girls had picked out. Derek suspected that it was Erica's choice. It was one of those action movies where the main characters ran around in sleeveless shirts, baring their muscles to the audience. Erica watched those with a smug smile. Every fifteen minutes or so, she would send knowing looks at Derek.

It was an innocent scene that did it. The scene didn't really fit with the rest of the movie, as if the director had decided to write a love letter to this one actor.

It was in the way the focus was on the character's face. The light catching on his eyelashes as he looked down. He was distracted by the shape of the man's lips and the tongue that swept to wet his lower lip and the teeth that sank into it soon after as the character tried to come up with a suggestion.

The song, when he heard it, first caused Stiles to blink at the screen and then his gaze flew to Derek's face. The shit eating grin and the howl of laughter soon followed. The others were torn between staring at Stiles and looking towards Derek.

"I-is that 'Ode to Joy'?" Kira asked, carefully.

Derek didn't reply, he just grabbed at Stiles, pushed him out the door and into his car and drove off somewhere far away from curious packmates.

"What the hell did you do?"

Stiles managed to calm down enough to spit out, "A spell."

"What?" Derek glared at him until it became necessary to focus back on the road. What he really wanted to do was strangle Stiles.

"It's a little spell, wolf-breath," he wheezed out, still chuckling. "Any time you pop a boner and," at this, he began to sing. At least, it was possibly singing. What came out of Stiles' mouth was something that would amount to torture. And really, Derek had no other choice but to slam on the brakes.

The strangled yelp and stream of cursing that followed? Now THAT was music to Derek's ears.

**

"I'm curious though," Stiles said later, while they sat a diner, Stiles on his way to demolishing his plate of fries. Derek was contemplating whether or not his burger was about to moo at him.

"You're always curious," He retorted, hunger triumphed over caution.

"I just didn't expect that awkward boner over a guy, that's all." Stiles shrugged, stuffing a handful of fries into his mouth.

Derek sighed.

"Could you at least refrain from calling it a 'boner'?"

"Awkward erections?" Stiles asked, making sure to roll his "r". The fact that no one reacted to his rather loud words was a testament to how much the diner and its other patrons were used to Stiles and his strange tendencies.

"I regret ever meeting you."

"But then you wouldn't meet Scott, your Alpha and savior."

"Well then I regret the day Scott met you."

"Then Scotty wouldn't be the Scott you know today! I helped create that, you know."

"I'm pretty sure Scott is his own person. He's the Alpha he is today because of who he is. He'd still be the same person regardless of who's around him."

"Ah. Nature instead of nurture?" Stiles said, looking down at his empty plate before gazing at Derek's with a determined look.

Derek knew that look and contemplated protecting his plate for a second. He was well aware that it was futile so he rolled his eyes and pushed at his plate with his elbow. He wasn't about to relinquish his burger but he would reluctantly part with his fries.

He ignored the way Stiles' face beamed with joy and the way his stomach churned at that look. It was indigestion, nothing more.

Yes, indigestion from his mostly rare burger that was about to moo at him.

"You of all people should know that Scott is a good person, Stiles."

"Oh, I definitely know that," Stiles said, waving his hand flippantly. When Derek looked at him, Stiles had one of his knowing grins on his face. "I just wanted to hear you fanboy over Scott, that's all."

The pained yelp from Stiles when Derek kicked him in the shin was too damn satisfying.

**

Despite threats on his person Stiles insisted that there was nothing that he could do. So Derek had seven days of trying to control his dick in public if he wanted to avoid awkward questions like, "are you playing music?" And "why are you playing 'ode to joy'? Is that your favorite song?"

He...mostly ignored it.

There was no way to ignoring it in the morning but thankfully the song itself would kill his libido as soon as he regained some semblance of clarity.

During the day, the very thought of embarrassment was enough to keep arousal at bay. That and thinking of extremely unsexy thoughts. His personal favorite features one of Scott's elderly neighbors in a bikini.

During the evenings, for some reason that he had yet to discern, he had a standing... _meeting_ with Stiles. At the diner.

It started the same way, with both of them ordering their food--Derek would rotate between burgers and sandwiches while Stiles stuck to fries and would sometimes add a burger or a pizza and on one fateful day...hotdog--and then Stiles would start.

"And how are you today, Derek?"

The first time this happened, Derek was suspicious. After that, his left eyebrow would twitch as he forced himself not to knock Stiles' head against the window, table or wall.

"Fine," he replied through clenched teeth.

"No songs coming from your pants?" His right eyebrow twitched.

"No."

"That's too bad," Stiles sighed. "I was really looking forward to more of your awkward boners."

"Stiles..."

That prompted a grin and Stiles would lean back and then asked, "So what did you do today, Derek?"

And then they would talk for hours. During this time Stiles would attempt to steal Derek's food, Derek would try to stop him but would eventually give in. And the entire time Derek would forget that Stiles had cursed his dick into singing "Ode to Joy" whenever it got hard.

**

It was the lack of attacks or any type of disaster that lulled him into a false sense of calm. He didn't bother changing shifts with Isaac or Boyd when it was his turn to patrol the barriers in the woods with Stiles. Even though he spent too much time with him already.

The day was cloudy and Derek wondered if maybe they should wait until they were sure it wasn't about to rain.

But last time they postponed patrol they ended up facing down a trio of berserkers. That had ended up with a sprained wrist for Lydia and a concussion for Stiles. He'd rather brave Stiles' brand of verbal torture than have the pack thrown headfirst into danger again.

Stiles was already there when he arrived, perched on top of his Jeep. He gave a little wave as he slid down, pocketing his phone and jogging to Derek.

"So, just the two of us...Far away from people... You're not going to try and kill me, are you?"

Derek raised an eyebrow but didn't bother replying, making his way into the woods.

"Are you?"

"Well, if I wanted to, this is a rather perfect place to do it. Like you said, just the two of us, far away from people."

It was enough to make Stiles trip slightly and pause. And Derek snorted with amusement. Apparently it was loud enough for Stiles to hear because he grunted and began walking, quickening his pace.

"Very funny."

"I thought so too."

They walked the grounds for about fifteen minutes. Stiles checked the lines and told stories as usual. It was just like their diner...meetings.

By the time they reached the clearing, Stiles was ready for a break.

"Despite the magic, I'm still human, ok? I don't have your weird wolfy powers," muttered Stiles, glaring when Derek rolled his eyes.

"Take five and then we'll go by my pace." Derek was kind enough to ignore Stiles when it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"Yes, your highness. Thank you, your highness."

Derek turned around, ready to reply but... Stiles was grinning down at his shoes. And what Derek saw was not the smirk that promised mischief. Or the one that was smug and usually reserved for video game nights. This was the first time Derek had seen this one.

The clouds overhead shifted and for the first time that day they finally had sunlight.

Derek spared a moment to think, "well, isn't that convenient?" He glanced back at Stiles and for the second time in a span of minutes, was struck speechless.

The scene he was seeing reminded of the movie they watched the other day. It was in the way that the sunlight caught on Stiles's face. It caused his eyes to slowly close. And the smile....the smile on his face was absolutely criminal this time.

It spelled trouble with a capital T and reminded him of some of the good days with Laura, where they would sit on the roof and drink werewolf moonshine, the only alcohol that could get a were drunk. It reminded him of a house full of laughter and the smells of cooked dinner.

It reminded him of...home.

He had half a second of quiet wonder before a familiar song blasted it all to pieces. Stiles' eyes flew open and he stared at Derek in shock.

They were in the middle of the woods, with no one around. And Derek...had no excuses.

He was tempted to say that the great outdoors was a particular turn on for him but there was no way that would work. Not to mention his reputation would not survive. Erica would laugh at him until the end of time.

It was then that the absolute shock on Stiles' face melts into something close to manic.

"Oh my God," he whispered in dismay. Because Stiles wasn't about to reject him or make fun of him. No, he looked and smelled like he felt the same.

"Oh my GOD," Stiles whispered in absolute glee.

They were still staring at each other and Derek could feel whatever horror he felt slowly fade in the face of Stiles' excitement.

"I hate you so much right now," he sighed, even as he reached out to pull Stiles closer. It really wasn't difficult because Stiles practically launched himself at Derek at the invite.

"No, you don't," Stiles said in a sing-song. "At least, not according to Mr. Happy," he added, grinning down at Derek's crotch.

"I'm regretting this already," But the way Derek wound his arms around Stiles proved otherwise. Stiles hummed, chuckling softly, sending puffs of air against Derek's mouth.

"Your dick says otherwise," he whispered before he closed the gap and they finally kissed. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuses. I apologize to Beethoven and Derek. Mostly to Derek. Stiles is still not sorry.


End file.
